First up I made the dreadful mistake of actually paying out some of my own cash to buy Damnation. I was sucked in by the promise by of a vertical shooter with steam punk styling but it turned out to be sucky in extremus. The giant breasticles of Yakecan could not elevate this, in fact just look at that stupid outfit, I’m kind of insulted that those ridiculous breasts are supposed to appeal to me. Jesus grow up, the number of artists in the games industry who dress up big breasted women in really stupid outfits even a fashion designer would balk at is still way too high. Then again it may have been a cheap ploy to distract you from the dull gameplay and terrible voice acting.
The game itself was billed as “revolutionary” although advertising rules seem to state that everything must be described as revolutionary nowadays whether it is a boring car which looks like every other car on the road, some balm soaked toilet paper or in this case a shooter so ordinary that if you cut it open and sawed into the bones you’d find the word ordinary all the way through like a stick of seaside rock. Here’s my Damnation review. Damn you Damnation!
By contrast I also got slightly addicted to a free strategy game which is like a warped version of fantasy chess. Yeah I know that doesn’t sound appealing. Ok just check out the Zatikon review and you’ll see what I mean.
Damnation may have been disappointing but it still had playable portions. Unlike the foul pestilent Wii turd The Destiny of Zorro. There does seem to be a special kind of dire reserved for the Wii. Pirates vs Ninjas Dodgeball was marginally better but don’t get excited.
Oh yeah and there was also Star Trek DAC which offered some basic and relatively inoffensive space battle.
Let’s hope next weeks games are a bit more inspiring than this bunch.