Name: Simon

Bio: I'm addicted to gaming and have been since I was a wee boy. Worked in the industry as a tester, designer and producer. I'm now a full time freelance writer and editor.

Posts by Simon:

The Ultimate FPS Ever!

May 18th, 2012

So I’ve been thinking about the ultimate action game featuring characters that combine genre clichés to the max. By combining clichés and ripped off ideas with some juicy plot twists we can multiply the awesomeness and create the next FPS smash hit.

The Baddies

A disgruntled Russian general still mentally in the Cold War has teamed up with the North Korean government to unlock the secrets of some alien technology they discovered (probably in Antarctica). They decide to hire Al Qaeda to exhume the body of Adolf Hitler and deliver it to their secret base (probably in an extinct volcano or on an oilrig). They then use the alien technology to resurrect Hitler and have him lead an army of fellow zombies against the unsuspecting west. Too late they realise that Hitler is evil and cannot be controlled…shock, horror! It turns out he just wants to eat people rather than bring about a geopolitical transformation of the world…who knew?

The Hero

He is a monosyllabic, muscle bound, ex-soldier who saw too much on his last tour of duty and has a serious obsession with weaponry. He returned to an ungrateful country to get a job as a cop where he was brutally shot by filthy immigrants intent on stealing his job, wife, underpants and eventually his very identity. He now has to follow the clues to find the person who was really behind the death of his partner, wife and children and probably his postman too. The only way he can save the world is to torture and murder every person he meets between his beer can littered caravan on the beach and the opulent marble palace housing the evil mastermind.

The Plot

Our hero Griff McGraw or Bash Truckster or Wolf Loner (I haven’t got the name yet) will track down and kill a series of cheap racial stereotypes serving as sub bosses to a multitude of brainless drones who probably don’t have families or real lives or personalities, so it’s ok to violently kill them by the barrel load. To justify the murder we just need to put Nazi insignias on them or make them look foreign and sneery. As these evil cretins die on by one, like a set of increasingly big and scary dominoes falling over, we discover that Hitler is behind everything. He set the entire plan that created everything evil in motion before he died after striking a deal with some aliens to bring him back to life later and destroy mankind (they want a vacant planet even if it is slightly used).

As our hero fights his way into the gold plated fortress of evil Hitler comes clean via a series of pre-set projectors and the public address system. He killed our hero’s family and friends personally using an alien time machine and he’s just back from doing it with little Billy’s cap in his hand. Our hero goes absolutely mental for the final showdown, pounds Hitler into submission and with his dying breath Hitler reveals the final kicker – he is our hero’s father! Just pause for a moment and let that sink in.

The Sequel

Our hero now uses the time machine to battle Hitler through the ages from medieval times up until just before the original game. At the end we find out that Hitler was actually an alien all along and so was our hero!!!

Crowdfunding

Since crowdfunding is all the rage nowadays I’ve thought up a few rewards for donations.

• $100 gets you a really fast scrolling name at the end of the credits which no one bothers to read anyway because let’s face it that’s a drop in the ocean
• $1,000 allows you to add your own death rattle, record audio of yourself pretending to die a violent death and we’ll attach it to a faceless bad guy
• $5,000 and you can send us a photo of someone you really don’t like, with the magic of computers we’ll wrap it round the head of a previously faceless bad guy and they’ll be killed over and over by thousands of people around the globe
• $50,000 you’ll get a backstage pass to meet Hitler and the gang and hang out in their volcano, by which I mean you can meet the healthy complexion challenged team who created an approximation of what a zombie Hitler might look like
• $100,000 you can hang around in the dev studio and peer over people’s shoulders making irritating suggestions just like a real producer
• $1,000,000 we will model your every nook and cranny, record your voice and motion capture your distinctive movements so we can make you the hero of the game, y’know Trip MacKiller or whatever

Final Thoughts

I know what you’re thinking….we don’t have robots or ninjas in the game…FAIL!

Well hold on there a minute, we need some creative integrity here so we can’t throw everything into this. By the law of diminishing returns there will come a time when people don’t want to buy sequels to this game (I know it’s tough to believe) so we can reboot the series by changing the name slightly and turning the Nazi zombies into ninja robots. That’s right I’ve got the long term vision in mind here – you’ve got to see the bigger picture.

If you want to get in on the ground floor then send as much money as you can afford to send right now. I guarantee it will be put to good use.

I now invite your suggestions for names and general adulation.

 

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English Hero FM 2012 Achievement: Winning the Blue Square Premier

May 14th, 2012

Step two of the English Hero achievement in Football Manager 2012 was to win promotion from the Blue Square Premier. I kept the majority of my good performers at Stalybridge Celtic from the BSN promotion and signed a few new faces.

Once again I recommend putting all your resources into wages and only sign free transfers or take players on loan when there is no fee involved. You need to negotiate hard and get those wage demands down as low as you can.

These are the players that did the job winning promotion from the Blue Square Premier to the npower League 2 as champions with 93 points from 46 games. It was tough to start with and the winning margin ahead of Luton and Crewe tied for second place was only 4 points in the end. We also won the FA Trophy which was a handy bit of extra cash but our FA Cup run didn’t get past the first round. These are the players who performed well over the season.

• Adam McHugh GK
• Nikki Ahamed DR
• Conrad Balatoni DC
• Billy Tsovolos DC
• Frederic Veseli DC
• Samir Bihmoutine DL
• Rhys Meynell DL
• Charlie Telfer M/AMLC
• Clark Keltie MC
• Joe McKee MC/AMC (loan)
• Kevin McBride DM/MRC
• Godwin Abadaki ST (loan)
• Ryan Smillie ST
• Victor Zapata-Caicedo ST

I thought star striker Pablo Counago, who helped us win the BSN, would be a star again but after a promising start he got a fractured skull and when he came back after a few months out he wasn’t the same player. I suspect if he hadn’t been injured he would have done a good job in the BSP. Just when I thought he’d never regain his form he bagged the winner in the FA Trophy final so I’m going to see if he has one more season in him.

Veseli in defence was probably the best player over the season, he was totally consistent. Smillie up front had an explosive start but then went through a serious goal drought to end the season as top scorer with 21 goals. Unfortunately Abadaki was only a short term loan but he put away 9 goals in 12 appearances and McKee was a major boost as a loan player at the end of the season.

I mostly stuck with 4-1-3-2 and a short passing game but we focussed on defensive positioning and defending set pieces and played counter attack away from home.

Next up we take on the npower League 2.

 

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Tropico 4: Modern Times Review

May 9th, 2012

You don’t often find city building sims infused with a political flavour but the Tropico series isn’t like other games. I’ve been hooked since the Gathering of Developers released the original back in 2001. Combining addictive tycoon style gameplay with a Caribbean island backdrop during the Cold War was genius. It offered a satirical look at the Capitalist and Communist meddling in banana republics and it was great fun. It was also the kind of odd mixture that you couldn’t imagine risk-averse publishers green lighting. The latest release is Tropico 4: Modern Times which is essentially an expansion pack for Tropico 4.

If you’ve never heard of them, Gathering of Developers tried to take creative control over the games they developed and shrug off the intrusion of publishers. It was set to be a partnership between indie development houses. Sadly Take Two acquired them and it all went wrong but not before they published some amazing games. From Max Payne to Space Colony to Vietcong to Railroad Tycoon they turned out innovative releases. Many of them have been revived in recent years and sometimes the results have been disastrous, I’m looking at you Stronghold 3. Thankfully Haemimont Games handled the Tropico series with care and their 2009 reboot, Tropico 3, was faithful to the original and brought it up to date.

Both Tropico 3 and 4 have felt more like remakes than true sequels. They expanded the basic premise, improved the graphics, but retained the core experience. Tropico 4: Modern Times attempts to drag the series into the present day and a little bit beyond. This means you have a range of modern buildings from gleaming Modern Apartment Blocks to Fish Farms, there’s even a Space Program you can build. In total you’ve got 30 new buildings to enjoy and they become available as time progresses. Many of them supersede a previous building, so when you develop Bio Farms, for example, you can’t build regular Farms anymore.

The increased choice is nice, especially for Tropico veterans but the majority of the new buildings function in the same way as their predecessors. There are good tweaks, such as the ability to buy a Doorman Kiosk for the Modern Apartment Blocks which means they don’t contribute to crime, but there are also some odd changes such as the Bio Farms only offering you the choice of growing Food Crops, Cash Crops or Corn (not sure why corn is singled out).

In terms of art style the game looks terrific. Haemimont has built on the source material and created a really consistent look that nails the Cold War Caribbean backdrop. That consistency is inevitably interrupted in Modern Times because they’ve thrown skyscrapers and modern condos into the mix. The fact that you develop buildings at different rates does result in strange looking cities at times. The new buildings all look good but you’ll find yourself unavoidably ending up with a mix of new and old styles because not all of the old buildings have a modernised counterpart.

Another interesting new development is the addition of 10 new edicts. They include options like Healthcare Reform, which increases the number of visitor slots in your healthcare facilities, and China Development Aid, which provides 100 Chinese immigrants for $10,000. The fact that Ban Social Networks increases productivity is nice but most of the options don’t have the modern connotations you might have expected.

The basic game has been boosted considerably by the extra content on offer in Modern Times and you will find it on by default in Sandbox mode, though you can turn it off if you prefer. Naturally there is also a new campaign to challenge your presidential credentials over 12 missions. This is where you’ll find the modern political references as you attempt to outmanoeuvre a secret organisation called The Conclave. As usual you are helped and hindered by your toady, Penultimo, who offers up a range of advice.

In terms of gameplay a sound economic base is still the main essential and you have to quickly decide at the start of each level whether to pursue agriculture, industry, tourism or a mixture. You have the same gang of factions to deal with and the game is a balancing act between satisfying them and insolvency. The Modern Times campaign throws a series of disasters at you that will challenge your ability to cope and force you out of your Tropico comfort zone. It feels as though the design aim behind it is to force you to try out various gameplay styles or game options that you might not have tried before and so show off the full range.

In each mission you have a central strand of tasks to complete to move on and a wide range of pop up, optional tasks that will earn you specific rewards. The storyline itself is deliberately extremely silly with plenty of llama references and some whacky science. It doesn’t grip you with any particular sense of urgency or drama but it is fun and the range of tasks helps to structure the gameplay and encourage you to exercise more of your powers.

The sense of progression is quite new and it is refreshing to develop new building options and edicts as the years go by. It is also reinforced gently by the timeline which references various real world events that exact some consequence on your options, for example the Cuban Missile Crisis triggers conscription, the Bird Flu Scare increases the price of beef and the Chernobyl Disaster increases the price of uranium (not sure it should though).

For fans of the series Tropico 4: Modern Times is an obvious essential purchase, it easily offers enough content to be worth buying. You will need the original game, though, so if you’re new to it then get Tropico 4 first. If you like the Civilization series then Tropico offers a nice alternative, equally if you are eagerly awaiting the Sim City reboot due next year this will fill the gap nicely.

 

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Batman’s Arkham Adventures

May 1st, 2012

When Rocksteady released the original Batman: Arkham Asylum they finally nailed something that game developers had been trying and failing to do for years – they produced a super hero game with high production values, a real respect for the source material and a blend of superb artwork and addictive gameplay. It was easily the best Batman game ever, the best super hero game ever and one of the best games ever. I was shocked, delighted and completely hooked. It was the first game in a long time that I completed and then immediately started playing again.

I was naturally excited when Batman: Arkham City came along. It sticks to the same formula, polishes up a couple of mechanics and presents the whole package on a grander stage. It is a must-have game for any gamer, but it’s not perfect. So what makes Batman’s Arkham adventures so good and what are the flaws? Let’s take a look.

I Am the Batman

Number one on the list is undeniably the fact that you play these games and feel like you are the Batman. The controls are superb. By mastering your timing you can have Batman dance around gracefully as he puts a room full of hoods to sleep. The combat is just an absolute joy. The range of moves based around relatively simple controls is genius and it makes you feel dangerous. A couple of additions in Arkham City just polish up the experience further, this is as good as it gets.

Stalking in the Shadows

The stealth aspect is another major factor in the convincing role play. You can swoop down from above, drag goons over ledges, pop out of grates and smash dramatically through windows. The stealth mechanics are accessible enough that a quick smoke pellet enables you to disappear again and so it rarely becomes frustrating. Clearing an environment without raising the alarm once is hugely satisfying but you can also take a few risks and get an intimidation bonus for really freaking out your foes.

Of course in terms of game mechanics the stealth aspect only works because of the Detective Mode which allows you to see through walls and check the position of each enemy. Like the rest of the game this is executed with real visual style and it is an important way of making you feel powerful.

Bringing the Batman Universe to Life

Good use of the source material is important for any game taking on a license and the universe of Batman provides so much depth to draw on. The Arkham games totally nail it. The art style, the voice-acting, the range of villains, and all of the details combine to create the most immersive Batman experience ever. The little back stories to uncover and the side missions tracking down the Riddler’s hostages and freeing them or locating Zsasz by tracing his calls are great fun. Batman’s work is never done and his list of enemies is ridiculously long.

Boss Battles

I’ll be honest I’m not a fan of boss battles generally. I think they often represent lazy design, they tend to go against the mechanics you may have learned up to that point and they focus on a single weak spot that you have to identify and attack. Some of the boss battles in both Arkham games fall victim to these problems but others are impressively executed.

The visuals of the Scarecrow boss battles in Arkham Asylum were just amazing, dripping with creepy style and that feel was echoed in the Mad Hatter’s battle in Arkham City, even if the gameplay was pretty straightforward. The Mr Freeze boss battle is a little bit special. It breaks that tired formula by challenging you to combine different techniques instead of just finding the Achilles’ heel and targeting it. Some of the other boss battles in both games feel a bit tired and predictable by comparison.

What’s the Chronology?

My biggest gripe with Batman’s Arkham adventures is that both games are jam-packed with extra content but a lot of it is small scale side missions or collecting Riddler trophies and solving riddles. You look at that stat for percentage complete each time you fire up the game and think “Awesome I’m only around halfway through” and then you trigger the big finale.

I did it in Arkham Asylum and I did it again in Arkham City. The cues all encourage you to hurry up and finish the main story arc but that leaves you with a bunch of small side missions and Riddler stuff to clean up and there’s a definite taste of anti-climax to it. A simple hint or nudge that I might be about to complete the main game would have been good, that would have prompted me to finish up the other stuff first and set things up properly for a big finish.

It’s telling that my main problem with both games is that they were over too soon but it would be good if they sorted out the chronology, other RPG’s tend to give you an audio clue or something, just so you know that it would probably be best to clean up the small stuff before the final showdown kicks off.

Arkham Asylum vs Arkham City

There’s no way to replicate the impact of Batman: Arkham Asylum because it was a revelation when it came out and Rocksteady would have been stupid to mess with a winning formula. Arkham City is basically just bigger and slightly more polished. There are more villains, a larger environment to explore, and a host of tweaks and additions to your arsenal and combat skills. The Catwoman missions offer something entirely new and they help to expand the Gotham universe.

If you liked Arkham Asylum then there’s no doubt you will like Arkham City but if you’ve yet to try either it would be best to start with Asylum.

What’s not in doubt is that you should play both of them.

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English Hero FM 2012 Achievement: Winning the Blue Square North

April 24th, 2012

So I decided to try and get the English Hero achievement in Football Manager 2012. The challenge is to take a team from the lowest league in England all the way to the top league. I picked Stalybridge Celtic in the Blue Square North and embarked on an epic journey to take them all the way into the Premiership. I couldn’t find much useful info in terms of tips for players to target in the Blue Square North or Blue Square South for that matter so I thought I’d share my progress.

Gaining promotion from the BSN was pretty easy in the first season. I’d recommend putting all of your resources into wages and targeting free transfers but you’ll have to bargain hard to ensure that your wage bill stays manageable. You’ll also need a cup run and a pay day to stay afloat.

These are the players that did the job for me in my first season and won the BSN with 98 points from 42 games. I’ve only included the players who actually played well. I think these guys are all worth signing. Meynell and Keltie start at Stalybridge but all the others were signed on free transfers or loan deals where I contributed nothing. I offloaded a lot of the existing team before bringing these guys in.

• James Severn GK (loan)
• Nikki Ahamed DR
• Peter Cavanagh DR/L
• Conrad Balatoni DC
• Billy Tsovolos DC
• Rhys Meynell DL
• Ollie Banks DMC (loan)
• Clark Keltie MC
• Gary Wales ST
• Pablo Counago ST

I played a 4-1-3-2 formation and went for a short passing style. I mostly focussed on Attacking Movement in terms of match preparation and it worked a treat. I also managed to reach the FA Cup 4^th Round and got a big payday against Man Utd.

Next time we’ll take a look at how to win the Blue Square Premier. If you have any recommendations for BSN or BSS players then post a comment.

 

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Defenders of Ardania Review: Tower Defense Attack and Defend

March 27th, 2012

What’s that? A tower defense game where you get to attack and defend? Blended with the Majesty universe you say? Defenders of Ardania is it? Well sign me up. Awesome idea, this looks pretty good. Nice, they even got the same Sean Connery impersonator to do the voice of your advisor. Hmm seems a bit overly complicated, what’s the key for the grid again? Why is the grid even optional? Ah right I see, it’s just not very good is it? Why does it take so long? Why are some troops ignoring each other? Why are my tower spots so limited? Turn it off, I’ve had enough.

That’s my condensed thoughts as I played Defenders of Ardania for the first time and they haven’t really changed much with replays. The twist on the classic and well represented tower defense genre that’s on offer here is the ability to send out waves of attacking troops, in addition to the standard tower building to defend your castle. There is also a multiplayer option so you can take on real people instead of a predictable AI.

Things start out quite interesting. The presentation is in keeping with the Majesty series and the voiceover from your advisor is welcome. Sadly the problems start to emerge pretty quickly. The interface is a little awkward and the introductions to each level blend seamlessly into the gameplay starting up, so you always feel a little rushed and it’s easy to miss important advice or even which key it was you were supposed to press to display the grid.

It is fairly attractive but the animations were a bit stuttery for me and it has an overall buggy feel. Sometimes it doesn’t respond to your commands immediately and there are delays and stutters throughout.

Looking past the glossy, if flawed, exterior the gameplay is interesting. Any tower defense veteran will find it easy to get to grips with the tower building side of the game. Block key points in the map and you can make the enemy walk further and increase your chances of slaying them before they reach your precious castle. The trouble is the towers are too limited. You have a grid but you can only ever build a fixed number of towers and it feels very limiting. There are some interesting ideas like great vantage spots (marked by an eyeball) that allow towers a greater firing range or resource spots that boost your income. You can also destroy and rebuild towers to try and gain an advantage, but it rarely seems worth doing. If you pick the right spots from the start then there’s no need to make changes.

The first few levels are very straightforward and the offensive side of the game seems very limited too. You can select waves of various unit types to send off against your opponent’s castle. The first castle down is the loser. It feels odd that the troops ignore each other as they march past on the battlefield. Thankfully things do get more complicated. As you unlock tougher units you’ll find you can target enemy troops and towers. You’ll also get the ability to repair your castle. It is worth playing on to unlock the more interesting units and spells because they introduce many more strategic options.

As a single player game it gets boring quite quickly. The campaign does a good job of gradually ramping up the gameplay and introducing the new units and abilities but it doesn’t feel exciting or especially satisfying. The castle destruction aim with troops you don’t control directly mirrors the Majesty games in a basic sense but the process here feels laborious. There’s a tipping point but it’s not followed by a sudden collapse. In effect you reach a point where you know you will win but it takes another half hour to actually get there.

In multiplayer the problem is exacerbated. Since both of you can repair your castle it takes forever to actually gain a victory. There are some different tactical approaches you can take, but the hard limit on towers and even the number of units you can have in the field prevents anyone from running away with it. It would be interesting to see how it played without the hard limits. At least it would be a bit faster, maybe get the blood pumping a bit. As it is the multiplayer is too slow and it feels like a stalemate a lot of the time.

There are some good ideas in Defenders of Ardania and newcomers to the tower defense genre will probably get hooked, but the truth is there are better tower defense games out there. In fact that’s the problem at the end of the day – if you want to play an RTS game you’d be better served playing Majesty 2, if you want some tower defense action then Defense Grid: The Awakening is the way to go.

 

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Awesome Games of Yesteryear: Top 11 Atari ST Games

February 28th, 2012

I’ll never forget the day my parents bought me and my brothers an Atari ST. I was 11 years old. They sat us down together and told us they were getting a divorce. They patiently answered our anguished questions and then pulled out a big box as though it was some kind of consolation prize. A slice of gaming gold was waiting within.

It was a day of mixed emotions. I was delighted with the new computer, I was getting fed up with my ZX Spectrum in the face of all my Amiga owning friends, but I also felt guilty for being pleased because of their announcement. When I think back now, it was probably a fair trade. I got more enjoyment out of that Atari than I ever did from my parent’s marriage.

Over the next couple of years I was consumed by a wave of epic games, and some not so epic games that I mistakenly believed to be epic at the time. Until my brother got a NES a couple of years later the Atari ST was it. Here are the games I remember.

Ikari Warriors (1987)

This was an excellent top-down scroller that cast you as a Rambo style nut case and challenged you to single-handedly take down an enemy army. Actually you could play co-op two player which made it a title of choice when mates were round. The action was relentless, there were some handy pick-ups along the way and you could even hop in tanks when you found them. It was actually inspired by Rambo II (Ikari was part of the title in Japan) and it was developed by SNK. I miss this game.

Ranarama (1987)

You played as Mervyn, a sorcerer’s apprentice who had been turned into a frog in this top down fantasy title. You had to explore a big dungeon using spells to defeat your enemies and solving the odd rune based puzzle. The labyrinth was blacked out until you entered a room so you were never certain what you’d get, there were all sorts of enemies from Fire Golems to Necromancers. I’m not sure if this was really any good, it was obviously inspired by Gauntlet, but I definitely played it a lot.

Operation Wolf (1988)

This was a favourite in the arcade because it had a gun you could use to despatch the waves of evil enemy soldiers. I was quick to snap it up when it came out for the Atari ST, even although it was never as much fun without the gun. It was a lot like the Arnie film Commando – a side scrolling, insane, suicide attack on a concentration camp to rescue some hostages.


Buggy Boy (1988)



This was a super addictive racing game where you had to drive a beach buggy round one of five courses. The aim was just to get the best time possible. Each of the five courses was divided into stages and you had to reach the gate before the time ran out in order to continue. You could also score extra points by hitting flags in the right order. There were plenty of obstacles to slow you down but you could use logs to jump them and you’d get extra points for being in the air or driving on two wheels. It had a great feeling of speed and it was seriously fun.


Xenon (1988)



Another vertical scroller but this time you were piloting a transforming vehicle that could change into a plane or tank. Choosing when to change was part of the strategic challenge. You had to destroy a ton of gun towers and then face off against bosses and the levels got more complex as the game went on. It looked and sounded awesome, but it was damn tough to survive.


IK+ (1988)



International Karate was the first fighting game that I ever got hooked on. The basic aim was to beat your opponent by getting six points first. It had a humorous feel to it with comical background animations and there were little bonus games between rounds. The fact you had three fighters on screen at once made it pretty unusual and you also had a good range of attack moves. It was pretty limited with one backdrop but the score was good and the gameplay was really addictive.


Double Dragon (1989)



This was another arcade favourite that I got for the Atari ST as soon as it came out. Double Dragon was completely in tune with eighties buddy movies – two guys on a mission on the mean streets of punk-filled America to rescue their girl. It was a gratuitous beat ‘em up where you could punch, kick, knife, whip and even blow up an array of bizarre criminals. A two player co-op classic that never got old, until it eventually got old, but it was great while it lasted.


After Burner (1989)



Back in the eighties before I learned the horrible truth about Tom Cruise or considered the realities of being a fighter pilot I had a Top Gun inspired obsession with the F-14 Tomcat and so After Burner was my favourite game for at least a couple of months. It was a simple shooter that challenged you to bring down wave after wave of enemy fighters with your machine guns and lock-on missiles. It wasn’t really a great game but the basic shoot ‘em up mechanics were solid enough and it was definitely action-packed.

Populous (1989)

The original God game, Populous was all about guiding your civilization to glory against other nations under lesser deities. You started with a basic ability to manipulate the landscape and by building up Manna you could unleash earthquakes, create knights to smite your enemies and use floods and volcanoes, amongst other things. It was a ground-breaking game from Peter Molyneux (then at Bullfrog).

Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe (1990)

Easily my favourite game on the Atari ST, Speedball 2 was violent sporting perfection. It was essentially a no-holds barred game set in a court with various ways of scoring beyond the traditional goal. The first game was good but the second one increased the team sizes and added some great scoring options. You had to guide a new team, Brutal Deluxe into the big league for ultimate glory. You could boost your player’s armour and abilities or you could buy in big name stars. It was fast, furious and incredibly addictive. I used to play this game until my hands seized up.

Gods (1991)

This is the last game I can remember playing on the Atari ST. It was a really immersive platformer with great graphics and sound. You played as Hercules and agreed to get rid of the usurpers who had invaded the citadel of the Gods in return for your own ascension. It had elements of shoot ‘em up and some fiendish puzzles and your timing had to be perfect, you might even say Godlike, if you wanted to complete it.

That’s it for the Atari ST, had to be 11 because 10 wasn’t enough. I’m off to track down some of these games. Post a comment and let us know if you remember any of them.

 

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Crusader Kings II Review: Machiavellian Medieval Madness

February 17th, 2012

If you dream of unfurling your own complex plan of Machiavellian machinations and you have an interest in medieval Europe then it is hard to imagine a more perfect release than Crusader Kings II. Before you let loose a fanfare on your Herald’s trumpet and don that suit of armour consider this – it is one of the least accessible games ever released. You might be a strategy master but this is the Everest of learning curves and as a complete newbie it could easily give you pause for thought.

Veterans of the original and similarly styled Paradox releases like Sengoku and Hearts of Iron will dive gleefully into the action. The rest of us can hunker down and plough through no fewer than 27 separate tutorial sections. That introduction should keep you going for the first half hour before you begin to scour forums to find out exactly how to boost your income or how long to wait for your Chancellor to fabricate a claim.

Let’s step back for a moment and take in an overview of what Crusader Kings II actually is. Imagine Total War without the actual RTS battle portion. Instead you focus on the big picture, the map view, and your basic aim is to keep your dynasty on your chosen European throne and to increase your prestige as far as you possibly can. The methods at your disposal are varied and complex. While there are some superficial similarities the potential for scheming goes way beyond Total War’s campaign map.

You’ll start by selecting a head of state. You can click on each one to see details and get a sneak peak at the difficulty rating before you choose. A small kingdom or empire might mean a small army and limited funds but it should also provide a sounder base to build on. A large empire will undoubtedly involve threats on multiple fronts and schemes galore among your nobles. The game starts in 1066 and you can play for four centuries if you choose (you can also elect to start later). The fact there is no specific aim and a multitude of different roles to try gives it superb replay value.

Crusader Kings II is ultimately about personalities. Every character in the game has an opinion of you. How you deal with your friends and your enemies will determine your success. The golden rule is to ensure that you have an heir at all times in case you should die. Sudden death from illness, sword or even poison was a definite feature of medieval times so you have to be vigilant. Securing an heir means arranging a marriage and trying to balance traits and likely fertility with the potential for increasing your influence in foreign courts.

There are plenty of determining factors in whether someone likes you, from a lowly courtier in Carlisle to the Pope in Rome. Every character has an opinion of you from a positive score of 100 all the way down to a negative -100. Your personality traits, your skills, your actions, your religion – everything is under scrutiny. Your approach will inevitably meet with approval from some and discontent from others. It is a balancing act to keep power firmly within your grasp. You’ll have to choose when to make concessions and when to stamp on dissent.

The attention to detail is great. You can appease Earls and Dukes within your kingdom by bestowing honorary titles, sending gifts or even asking them to educate one of your children. Your diplomatic options are diverse and so you can really plan to interlink your chosen subjects and place them in strong positions to back you. It is also easy to stir up fear and resentment. Imprison that wayward brother who has been greedily eyeing your throne or botch a plot to murder your infertile wife and people are going to shout “tyrant”.

You may assume that the game is all about conquest but conducting war is actually tricky. You don’t just raise an army and march over the border. To avoid incurring the wrath of the international world, the Pope and even your own subjects you need legitimate excuses to invade. You need a “casus belli” before you can challenge a foreign state, which is basically an excuse. The good news is that a fabricated excuse will do just as well as real one. You can send your Chancellor to fabricate a claim or ask your Spymaster to build a network. You can even try and marry into the ruling dynasty and then murder your way to the top.

There are various ways to start a war but things don’t get any easier once it’s underway. You’ll need to raise troops and organise your forces. It can take days just to manoeuvre them into position. You’ll also find that they don’t like long campaigns and it generally takes a long time to build up the necessary Warscore that will allow you to force the peace you want on your opponent. There isn’t much in the way of visual action and conducting war is more about co-ordinating your troops well and reacting to the sway of battle which is revealed via statistics and bars.

Strategy is the aim here and Crusader Kings II is impressively accurate from an historical perspective. The character names are real, many of the events are real and they’ve even linked in Wikipedia pages so you can read up on them. They’ve definitely captured the authentic spirit of the grubby, backstabbing, backward, graspy free-for-all that was medieval Europe. There is also real strategic depth and the opportunity to put wildly different tactics into practice.

The focus on that depth and the style of gameplay means that the game is pretty unimpressive graphically. For the most part you are navigating through endless menus and tapping around the multitude of options on your HUD. There is a nice 3D map you can zoom in and out of and some basic animation for the characters upon it, but this is largely text-based with 2D art. The orchestral score adds an element of grandeur to proceedings, but the sound is pretty minimal as well.

The real strength of Crusader Kings II is also its weakness. It is very complicated. The tutorials don’t come close to covering everything you need to know. There are all sorts of other options we haven’t even touched on including making laws, researching technology, setting ambitions and of course taking part in crusades. It is easy, at times, to feel like you are drowning amidst the incoming messages and floundering when you don’t know how to deal with a seemingly important event. If you play as a smaller nation you might feel conversely that not very much happens at all and it takes too long to fan the flames of war. There is also a multiplayer option for up to 32 people but losing the ability to manipulate time makes things even harder to manage.

One thing is for sure – this is not for casual strategy fans. If you feel like Total War is complicated enough then you don’t want to go anywhere near this game. If you crave more depth and you’re happy to devote a few hours just to get the hang of things then snap it up. Fans of the series have no reason to pause, just buy it.

 

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Big Business Offers Some Freemium Tycoon Fun on Your Android

February 15th, 2012

If you were a fan of Paradise Island and My Country then you’re going to love Big Business. This is a tycoon game that challenges you to build a profitable empire of interconnected businesses. I am partial to a bit of tycoon gaming on my Android smartphone and so I’ve been building up my business empire in short bursts over the last few days.

This will be instantly accessible for any city builder or business sim fan. You’ve got the classic isometric view immortalised by Sim City and you have to build housing, businesses, roads, amusements to keep your citizens happy and trees to keep your city eco-friendly. The tutorial runs you through the basics and serves as a good introduction. The game has a pretty cartoon style and it’s all fairly colourful and engaging.

What sets Big Business apart is the chain of production. For example you can produce berries and sugar cane on a couple of farms and then have them delivered to your confectionary plant to make syrup. Your initial outlay is relatively small so the whole process will net you a tidy profit. There are lots of different businesses to choose from and each production process takes a specified period of time.

There are a few odd omissions from your building options. You can’t construct health or fire services, for example. However, you do get medical emergencies and fires which are dealt with by mysterious helicopters that fly on when you tap on the disaster in question. When it comes to transporting your goods around you’ll find that you do have to maintain a fleet of trucks, but it only really becomes a problem when you grow larger. You can also upgrade some of your buildings but not every type which is a bit vexing.

You get a steady stream of tasks dropping down on the left hand side of the HUD and they’ll bring you cash and XP rewards when you complete them. Naturally as you accumulate XP you will jump up levels and unlock new content.

Like all the other freemium tycoon titles in the Android Market Big Business is a slow burner. You won’t sit and play it solidly for hours on end because most things take a long time to happen. It is best enjoyed by dipping in and out when you have a few minutes to spare in your day. Of course you can spend in-game city credits to speed things along but they are very limited and it will cost you real money to buy more. Luckily most things can be purchased with in-game coins and you’ll generate them steadily if you build a solid economy and manufacture profitable goodies to sell.

I’m still not really a fan of the basic business model behind these freemium games because it generally becomes impossible to advance beyond a certain stage without spending real cash. Big Business seems to offer a bit more gameplay than some of the alternatives without forcing you to spend and the delicate balance required for your economy makes it quite immersive.

As a free game it’s great but if you are going to spend real cash to unlock everything then the starting price of $2.99 for 30 in-game city credits seems expensive and you could end up spending a lot more than that for a very limited return. I struggle with the idea that any amount of content could justify splashing out $99.99 for 1,250 in-game credits.

If you like a bit of tycoonery and you don’t mind the slow pace then give Big Business a go. It definitely has a bit more depth than your average city sim and it should hook you for a while.

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Cars 2: The Videogame Review

February 10th, 2012

In an attempt to get some PS3 time in the face of a Dragon Age addicted wife and a two year-old son who’s either watching Spongebob Squarepants on Netflix or another Pixar Blu-ray I got Cars 2: The Videogame. It was a Christmas present for my son who is obsessed with Lightning McQueen and Mater. To those who would cynically suggest I got it so I could occasionally play something on my PS3 I’m shocked, appalled and even offended at the suggestion.

While it is generally true that movie tie-ins belong to the world of suck this one is actually extremely playable, well made and lots of fun. It would probably struggle to claim a place in the pantheon of awesome violent racers alongside Mario Kart, Wipeout and maybe Twisted Metal, but the influences are there and it will definitely do when you need something kiddy friendly.

If you haven’t seen the film it’s basically a spy thriller for kids. The real star of the show this time round is Mater, the rusty, hillbilly, tow truck as a kind of car who knew too little. He teams up with a Brit spy, voiced by Michael Caine, and they face off against an evil empire intent on ruining the World Grand Prix with races held in various locations around the globe. It provides a great backdrop for the game which lets you choose from a multitude of characters from the movies and train your way to super spy by taking part in races and battles in interesting locations.

You’ve got ten modes to choose from and it’s best enjoyed as a multiplayer experience. Although it does only offer up to four player local multiplayer (there’s no online option). There are straight races, battle races, survival challenges, hunter challenges and a couple of arena modes that play like deathmatch and capture the flag. The range of gameplay on offer is impressive.

If you embark on the single player then you’ll kick off with a handy tutorial that introduces you to the basics. You can build up turbo boost power by drifting, jumping and pulling off various airborne manoeuvres. You can also engage in a spot of backwards driving or hop onto two wheels. Once you have mastered the basics you can select different types of challenge in various locations and progress up the spy ladder to the upper echelons at your own pace. You’ll unlock more challenges, tracks and characters as you climb.

The tracks and arenas are littered with power-ups and weaponry, depending on the mode. They also offer nifty shortcuts and occasional hazards. The whole experience is a lot like Mario Kart and that’s reinforced by the cartoon art style which emulates the movies beautifully.

The controls are easy to master for any experienced race game fan but younger kids will take a while to get to grips with the tricks and drifting. In fact the overall difficulty level, especially for the straight races is pretty unforgiving. You get a bronze, silver or gold award for each level completed and you’ll be awarded XP accordingly that gradually boosts your spy level and gives you access to more content.

Art and sound-wise this is the Cars universe and so fans will be draw into it instantly. There isn’t much in the way of storyline but the cut scenes between levels are well-handled. Some of the big names from the cast don’t provide the voiceover here (I’m looking at you Owen Wilson and Michael Caine) but kids won’t detect the difference and everything from the menus to the environments and characters has an authentic feel. My son will actually ask me to put this on sometimes so he can watch it.

This is easily one of the best movie tie-ins I’ve played and if you don’t have a Nintendo in the house then it could keep those Mario Kart cravings at bay. If you have a Cars obsessed kid and you want something you can play with them that won’t drive you insane then snap it up – you won’t regret it.

 

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