I’m not sure when or where it happened but there was obviously a law passed at some point which states that any PC intended to be a top of the line gaming machine must come in a stupid case. Apparently gamers are desperate to see the inner workings of their machine preferably with a blue glow applied. There’s nothing better while blasting aliens and building empires than to glance down and see neon blue shining through a zig zag pattern on the side of your PC. Thank god, zeus, odin, allah, or whoever my motherboard is still there!
If it doesn’t have the cutaway with the mad lighting then it has to have a moving or sliding face plate. Something completely pointless and impractical which actually detracts from the precious gaming time you have because you have to wait for this mechanical wonder to unfold everytime you want to put a disk in the machine. Some of them are now disguising the shape altogether. I may be a PC but I don’t have to be a box shape, I can be all angular like dazzle camouflage. Behold my glowing weird awesomeness.
I have to wonder do the people who buy these machines just give up gaming altogether and sit round the PC case in the dark? The only thing worse than the stupid cut away effect is getting a custom paint job on your PC. It’s not a car ffs, who are you trying to impress with that flaming skull? Do you cart it around on a skateboard so people can see? Maybe I’m missing the point but I don’t really need to be sitting in the bridge of the Starship Enterprise to get immersed in a game. I’m more interested in what’s inside the machine. A big black brick is fine with me as long as it is quiet and really, really fast.
Tags: Gaming PC
Posted in Desktop, PC | No Comments »
Just back from a two week holiday in France and we drove. Yes all the way from Edinburgh through the Channel Tunnel and down to a tiny place near Josselin in Brittany. Couldn’t fly for various reasons so we were stuck with the two day road trip and so I dusted off my handhelds, charged them up and finally played some DS and PSP games.
It was only as I went to pick them up and coughed from the thick layer of dust that I realised I hadn’t actually touched either of them for quite a while. The DS has certainly seen more action than the PSP and I’m not ashamed to admit to some Mariokart toilet sessions. I find a Grand Prix comp is about the length of a good dump but you probably don’t need to know that.
Anyway I remembered that the PSP is actually really nice, the screen is awesome and I played GTA Liberty City stories and God of War. The shiny problem definitely cost me a few lives as the sun dazzled me momentarily and caused me to drive into the sea or zig when I should have zagged. Still it was fun and that wee thumb controller thingy is awesome.
Everyone else wanted to play the DS. Mariokart, The Curious Professor Puzzleface (you know the one), Brain Training, Sight Training, maybe I should bring out Toilet Training 
No doubting the mass appeal of Nintendo then.
Anyway now I’ve returned the handhelds have gone back to their shelves and despite my resolution to play them a bit more there is a PC and a PS3 and a Wii to contend with. I know the next time I reach for them they’ll probably have grown a new layer of dust. When I had a commute I played them daily but for some reason the whole portability factor means in my head that they should only be used in places where you can’t be playing a better game on a better system.
So how much do you use your handhelds? When and where do you use them? Do you think it’s morally wrong to use them on the toilet? Answers on a postcard please….or post them in comments.
While you think on it check this PSP ad out.
Tags: handhelds
Posted in Handheld, Nintendo, Sony PSP | No Comments »
Is the Wii console really a good thing? I’ve been reviewing lots of Wii games recently and despite all the blabbing about the funky peripherals and potentially interesting ways to use them the majority of games for the Wii are seriously sub-standard and completely fail to use the Wii remote in any interesting way.
The Nintendo crusade to get everyone playing the Wii has rendered it hopelessly mainstream and the result is an awful lot of mediocre or flat out rubbish titles. Then you get titles like EA Sports Active which isn’t even a game. It’s a personal fitness trainer and, like Wii Fit, it is undeniably a good idea if you want to draw in an audience traditionally uninterested in gaming.
The contrast between gamers who tend to flog their Wii’s off after a few months when the novelty wears off and non-gamers who can’t seem to get enough Wii action is striking. The thing is that mainstream market is much bigger than the niche hardcore gaming market that Sony and Microsoft are scrapping over. Nintendo have cleverly managed to release the technically least impressive device with the largest profit margin for hardware and a novelty controller and they’ve captured the mainstream market.
There are still reasons for gamers to own a Wii but you have to choose carefully. Novelty titles and retro games are the best titles on offer, recently I enjoyed Let’s Tap and Punch-Out!!
There is no getting away from the fact that Nintendo have allowed an awful lot of rubbish to be released and personally I find it dispiriting and worrying for the industry that a lot of terrible titles on the Wii sell more than awesome titles on other platforms simply because the audience is larger and less discerning.
Tags: Nintendo
Posted in Wii | 3 Comments »
The news from E3 that Rockstar North are developing a new game called Agent will be cause for excitement amongst GTA fans. The game is set to be a PS3 exclusive and they certainly need a few decent exclusives to drive console sales, especially since the GTA franchise is now cross platform.
The team at Rockstar North are the real talent behind GTA IV so Agent could well be an excellent game. It casts you in the role of a secret agent during the Cold War and promises to be a paranoid journey into espionage and political assassination. No doubt it will have a good dose of humour too. The official Agent website is up but you won’t find any details yet.
Tags: Agent, Rockstar North
Posted in Playstation 3 | No Comments »
There isn’t really anything particularly new or revolutionary about Prototype. The evil military linked virus weapon outbreak back story is far from original and the third-person action gameplay is fairly familiar. The visuals are good with a rough composite of New York but this is no GTA and the strongest aspect of the art is the animation by far. There are problems with the difficulty mix as well, easy missions follow hard ones quite randomly. Check out my Prototype review for more.
Whatever you say about Prototype you have to admit it is a lot of fun to play. There are hints of Akira about the set up and charging around the city mashing up enemies who are woefully ill equipped to deal with your ferocious violent abilities brought a big grin to my face. This is no superhero game either, your powers may be comparable but your complete disregard for public safety and the moral ambivalence of the whole thing is quite refreshing.
I haven’t been gaming much the last couple of weeks because I just became a father and my bundle of puking, pooping and wailing joy is infinitely more interesting than any game. Still in the brief periods when he drops off to sleep it is Prototype that I have stuck on to squeeze in a quick blast of escapist action.
Tags: Prototype
Posted in Games, PC, Playstation 3 | 4 Comments »
First up I made the dreadful mistake of actually paying out some of my own cash to buy Damnation. I was sucked in by the promise by of a vertical shooter with steam punk styling but it turned out to be sucky in extremus. The giant breasticles of Yakecan could not elevate this, in fact just look at that stupid outfit, I’m kind of insulted that those ridiculous breasts are supposed to appeal to me. Jesus grow up, the number of artists in the games industry who dress up big breasted women in really stupid outfits even a fashion designer would balk at is still way too high. Then again it may have been a cheap ploy to distract you from the dull gameplay and terrible voice acting.
The game itself was billed as “revolutionary” although advertising rules seem to state that everything must be described as revolutionary nowadays whether it is a boring car which looks like every other car on the road, some balm soaked toilet paper or in this case a shooter so ordinary that if you cut it open and sawed into the bones you’d find the word ordinary all the way through like a stick of seaside rock. Here’s my Damnation review. Damn you Damnation!
By contrast I also got slightly addicted to a free strategy game which is like a warped version of fantasy chess. Yeah I know that doesn’t sound appealing. Ok just check out the Zatikon review and you’ll see what I mean.
Damnation may have been disappointing but it still had playable portions. Unlike the foul pestilent Wii turd The Destiny of Zorro. There does seem to be a special kind of dire reserved for the Wii. Pirates vs Ninjas Dodgeball was marginally better but don’t get excited.
Oh yeah and there was also Star Trek DAC which offered some basic and relatively inoffensive space battle.
Let’s hope next weeks games are a bit more inspiring than this bunch.
Tags: Damnation, The Destiny of Zorro, Zatikon
Posted in Games, PC, Wii | No Comments »
You should go and buy Zeno Clash immediately. It is one of those indie games that reminds me why I love this industry. Deeply imaginitive, a terrific art style and some great gameplay.
Indie developers ACE Team have taken some risks with this and the first-person melee combat is nicely handled. They used the Source engine which I’m familiar with because the last two games I worked on were based on Source. We had trouble with melee combat in The Ship, we didn’t have punching but there were several club and sword weapons. Judging distance and range can definitely be a problem in the first-person perspective and there are times when it feels awkward in Zeno Clash but their block, counter and combination combat system for hand to hand works really well for the most part.
The story and the art style are also great, here is my full Zeno Clash review. It only costs $20 (£15) so seriously get on Steam and buy it. With publishers applying an ever tightening choke hold on the industry there is a danger that creativity and risk is lost from games. It is these qualities that really drive things forward and for me Zeno Clash is a great example.
Tags: ACE Team, Indie Games, Zeno Clash
Posted in Games, PC | No Comments »
Have you ever heard of Multiverse? They are middleware providers of an MMO engine and tools which they give away for free to developers in return for a share of the commercial spoils, if the resultant games ever go commercial.
Back in 2006 they announced a Firefly MMO game after signing a deal with Fox. Joss Whedon fans everywhere wet their pants in excitement and Multiverse went on the hunt for a developer to make their game. A couple of years later they announce they are going to make a Buffy MMO game but this time they are doing it themselves. This new Buffy game means that Firefly is now on hold. That was back in September last year and they haven’t said anything since.
I’m thinking Firefly is never going to see the light of day but it would have made a much better MMORPG than Buffy. On the other hand there aren’t enough horror MMO games out there, even some of the exciting prospects in development have now halted work and will probably never come out. There are a few free vampire MMORPGs but they are mostly text based and very simple. We definitely need a decent horror MMORPG, personally I’d go for a zombie infested world with simple survival as the aim but hey vampires would do.
The truth is most MMO games that get announced never actually make it to market. Even big projects at wealthy companies often disappear after a few years and with the associated cost it shouldn’t really surprise anyone. Not only do you have the usual difficulty of producing a game which is enjoyable to play and works technically but you also have to launch it into a busy market, make sure you provide plenty of server support and promote it enough to build a decent player base. Failure with any of these factors and your MMO game will sink without a trace.
I’m really tempted to download the Multiverse engine and have a play with it. Maybe knock up an MMORPG in which you take on the role of a young developer and challenge you to build a bankroll by slaying investors, conquer fickle fans and ultimately face off against the big bad evil of the games industry - the publishers.
Tags: Buffy MMO, Firefly MMO, MMO Games Development, Multiverse
Posted in MMO | No Comments »
I still get a thrill when free games come pouring through my letterbox but there is a downside to reviewing games. Actually there are a few reasons that it occasionally sucks. First off sometimes the games you get sent are total turkeys. In April I got sent a bumper load of turkeys. My first review for Boom Town was Stormrise and despite having the Creative Assembly (Australia) name on it, the game was a real-time strategy disaster for the PS3.
I also got sent Gobliiins 4 an inane, antiquated point and click adventure for the PC which was painfully bad. If you’ve been reading the blog you’ll know my opinion on point and click adventures.
As if they weren’t bad enough another game that landed on my doormat was CID the Dummy for the Wii.
I always feel a bit bad for criticising games, I know how it feels from the development side and a bad review can be seriously dispiriting if you’ve worked on a project for months or even years. The thing is you have to be honest, I always try to imagine how I would feel if I actually spent money on the game in question and having bought several terrible games over the years it never fails to piss me off.
You also have to actually play through the game in order to give it a proper review and that can be hard going. It takes willpower to keep playing something you are really hating but then that’s another thing that stirs up the vitriol.
Even when you are playing a game you enjoy, the pressure to hurry up and finish it can be annoying. You’ll find yourself thinking about what you are going to say instead of just enjoying the game. At the end of the day it comes down to opinion, there is no real evaluative standard that can be applied across the board.
Tags: cid the dummy, gobliiins 4, reviewing games, stormrise
Posted in Games, PC, Playstation 3, Wii | 2 Comments »
If you are a fan of zombies, as all right thinking people are, then you’ve probably already bought Left 4 Dead. If it somehow escaped your radar then now is the time to check it out. Valve are offering a 24 hour free trial starting this Friday. You can pre-load now so you get maximum play time to try it out. It includes the new expansion.
The co-op mode is great fun but you can play solo as well if you prefer. It is well worth checking out so get ready to stomp some undead corpses.
Tags: Left 4 Dead, zombies
Posted in Games, PC | No Comments »
